this is fyf

Unfortunately named borough is named appropriately for this weekend's Queens Pride festivities.

 

More on this later today.

This weekend...

 

Tonight (Thursday):

It's  a booty-fest at Headz Will Roll tonight after last week's crazed late-night Spank Rock appearance. I can personally attest: the crowd is pleasing! Ladyfag and Roxy Cottontail host while Jason plays pa-pa-pa-paparazzi(1opm, Bar 13)

After last week's premier during Urban Bear Weekend, Behr, the paint themed(?) bear party from Robert Valin, holes up in the basement at Elevate for week two. (10pm)

Tomorrow night (Friday):

The Bunker is a Friday night party at Public Assembly that's held in high esteem among clubbers/dancers/DJs already. This Friday, they inaugurate a quarterly residency series where they'll host the residents of Berghain and Panorama Bar, two Berlin clubs (who just happen to be under the same roof) that - according to general consensus - throw some of the best parties, playing the best music, in the world right now.  (10Pm)

The kids who put on Unisexi love a theme (as do I!) and this week's is Batty Bwoy with Michael Magnan and DJ Will Automagic joining residents Jools Palmer and Sugartitz behind the decks, and a special performance by Jamaican-born Lawrence Graham Brown.  Bring your best Dancehall/Dutty Wine moves and your best ass! (10pm, Le Royale)

Bi-weekly, bi-curious (?) but not bi-polar, Snaxx is back and waiting for you in the dark. (10pm, Westside Tavern)

Hierarchy - Gayish places to have a drink with ample outside seating

14. Xes
13. The Ritz
12. Friends Tavern
11. B Bar
10. Hudson Terrace

Statistics determine the best neighborhood in New York for the homosexual man.

The title of best neighborhood in New York is regularly handed out using different criteria each time.  The latest entry into this unwinnable argument is the newest issue of New York magazine.  The annual "Neighborhood" boasts a "livability calculator"  as created by the much esteemed Nate Silver.  Yes, THE Nate Silver that predicted with amazing accuracy the turnout of the 2008 presidential elections.  (A personal disclaimer about Nate Silver:  A guy that is a statistics genius is perhaps the dream lover that I will never have.  Math geniuses could go to the front of the line, if, like, there was a line.  Sigh.) 

Their result is that Park Slope is the best neighborhood in New York.  This is completely true and accurate.  If you are a white girl with a baby bump and banker husband and you are want that little baby bump to end up at a great school.  Our result varies, greatly.

The problem is, as referenced above,  that Silver's weighting of the criteria is highly heteronormative.  By making adjustments reflecting some homonormative values to every one of the twelve criteria in the livability calculator, we had a different result that pushed Park Slope from number one to seven.  And the new winner?  The East Village.  

(Note, of course, the adjustments made were suitable to my homosexual lifestyle.  Yours, of course, may vary.)

- Affordability/Housing:  More important!  The budget for travel and nice things in the home and the closet exceeds the desire to pay a landlord.
- Transit/Proximity:  Less!  Walking or biking is often a better alternative, so that extra block or two is okay.
- Shopping:  More!  Those nice things for the home and closet, remember?  
- Safety/Crime:  Less!  Just slightly lowered, but guys tend to worry a bit less about this issue than ladies or moms.
- Restaurants:  More!  
- Schools:  Totally wiped this one out!  Seriously, keep those kids away from my house.
- Diversity:  About the same.
- Creative Capital:  More!  The neighborhood without inspiration is just a place to live, and that's it.
- Housing Quality:  Less!  We can handle the renovations ourselves, thanks.
- Green Space:  More!  For all that walking and biking mentioned above.
- Health & Environment:  About the same.
- Bars & Nightlife:  More!  Because we just like to go out and have some fun.  

Again, you can change the priorities on the calculator yourself, and hopefully share them in the comments.  With our fine tuning, the neighborhoods for the homosexual man in New York, presented in order of livability:

1. East Village
2. Lower East Side
3. DUMBO/Downtown Brooklyn
4. Cobble Hill/Boerum Hill
5. Red Hook
6. Carroll Gardens/Gowanus
7. Park Slope
8. West Village/Meatpacking
9. Nolita/Little Italy
10. Tribeca

This Weekend...

 
 Malcolm McLaren

...Snaxx returns as if from the heavens (Friday, 10pm, Westside Tavern basement), DJs Bill Coleman and Lina were birthed at F Word where they're The Ones (Friday, 10pm, Rebel), Sparber and Ladosha are giving me a banjee effeck when they Move It (Friday, 11pm, Sugarland), Ricardo Studmuffin brings a dance party to the Eagle (Saturday, 10pm, The Eagle), Amanda Lepore is/is not in CRISIS (Saturday, 10pm, Elevate) Family Function continues to DYS all haters (Saturday, 10pm, Woody's), House's roots are showing at Trippin' on the Moon 4 (Saturday, 10pm, Santos Party House) while its legends continue to age (Danny Krivit's Birthday/718 Sessions - Sunday, 6pm, Santos Party House) and sister homo-pub GAYLETTER enters "midlife" to tunes from Michael Magnan and Telfar (Sunday, 10pm, Hiro),  

Other things happening this weekend (and just slightly less obviously gay/cruisy?): 

• Dunno him well, but Mr. John J. Zullo has a dance company that's performing at a festival happening in Long Island City this weekend (who knew?) and - shallowly - he's hot and looks extremely flexible (Saturday, 8 - 9pm, Green Space Studio) 
• Malcolm McLaren's death this week sent me down the Wiki rabbit hole after details of his life and others of his ilk. There, I learned a lot more about Jayne County ("Legendary!" was the previous extent.) that only increased my respect for her. I'll leave you to trace the degrees of separation, but a weekend long event at the Chelsea Hotel is named in her honor and is displaying some of her artwork. (Friday - Sunday, Chelsea Hotel - Opening event at 8pm on Friday)
• Speaking of queer rock and post-punk...QxBxRx may be showcasing the next wave this weekend? (Saturday, 10pm, Cake Shop)
• Girlfriend Greg Lockard and co-creator Mike DiMotta are debuting their new comic book  "Miss Thing Werk" at the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art Fest 2010 this weekend. Hi-larious! Congrats, boys! (Saturday & Sunday, 11am-6pm, 69th Regiment Armory)

And to all your birthday boys out there, Happy Birthday!

Image via

This weekend: Work for Love (Too...no, Two)

  

A continuation of his show last week at Envoy Enterprises, Desi Santiago's Work for Love II takes place as part of P.S. 1's Saturday Sessions and will begin at 4pm in the 3rd Floor Main Gallery. The show ends at 6pm and is followed immediately by music spun by Saint Buck.

You're not ready.

Test your NYC geography skills tonight.

Want to "participate in the world’s only geographical trivia-based game night involving the world’s largest panorama – The Panorama of the City of New York"? You can tonight. 

Light Asylum at PS1, Long Island City, Saturday, 5:12 p.m.

Friends

• 78-11 Roosevelt Avenue, Jackson Heights    Map

Atlantis

• 76-19 Roosevelt Avenue, Jackson Heights  Map