The title of best neighborhood in New York is regularly handed out using different criteria each time. The latest entry into this unwinnable argument is the newest issue of New York magazine. The annual "Neighborhood" boasts a "livability calculator" as created by the much esteemed Nate Silver. Yes, THE Nate Silver that predicted with amazing accuracy the turnout of the 2008 presidential elections. (A personal disclaimer about Nate Silver: A guy that is a statistics genius is perhaps the dream lover that I will never have. Math geniuses could go to the front of the line, if, like, there was a line. Sigh.)
Their result is that Park Slope is the best neighborhood in New York. This is completely true and accurate. If you are a white girl with a baby bump and banker husband and you are want that little baby bump to end up at a great school. Our result varies, greatly.

The problem is, as referenced above, that Silver's weighting of the criteria is highly heteronormative. By making adjustments reflecting some homonormative values to every one of the twelve criteria in the livability calculator, we had a different result that pushed Park Slope from number one to seven. And the new winner? The East Village.
(Note, of course, the adjustments made were suitable to my homosexual lifestyle. Yours, of course, may vary.)
- Affordability/Housing: More important! The budget for travel and nice things in the home and the closet exceeds the desire to pay a landlord.
- Transit/Proximity: Less! Walking or biking is often a better alternative, so that extra block or two is okay.
- Shopping: More! Those nice things for the home and closet, remember?
- Safety/Crime: Less! Just slightly lowered, but guys tend to worry a bit less about this issue than ladies or moms.
- Restaurants: More!
- Schools: Totally wiped this one out! Seriously, keep those kids away from my house.
- Diversity: About the same.
- Creative Capital: More! The neighborhood without inspiration is just a place to live, and that's it.
- Housing Quality: Less! We can handle the renovations ourselves, thanks.
- Green Space: More! For all that walking and biking mentioned above.
- Health & Environment: About the same.
- Bars & Nightlife: More! Because we just like to go out and have some fun.
Again, you can change the priorities on the calculator yourself, and hopefully share them in the comments. With our fine tuning, the neighborhoods for the homosexual man in New York, presented in order of livability:
- East Village
- Lower East Side
- DUMBO/Downtown Brooklyn
- Cobble Hill/Boerum Hill
- Red Hook
- Carroll Gardens/Gowanus
- Park Slope
- West Village/Meatpacking
- Nolita/Little Italy
- Tribeca