this is fyf

Will there be a new gay bar called "Wholes"?

The owners of Pieces are opening a Hell's Kitchen venue.  They've turned to Grindr users to name the new establishment.  My immediate thought is P.U.B. (Pieces Uptown Branch) but is that too clever?  Or if they wanted to be the opposite of their West Village, they could go with "Wholes" which could be a popular name, no?

There's a bar tab of $1000 to be won, so enter and enter often.  Just don't enter "Wholes" often.  Oh, wait, if you're using Grindr you ... SOMEONE PLEASE STOP ME.

Anyway, I'm not actually sure how to do that as that ad did not come to me because I'm a professional strumpet aka Grindr Extra user.   Others use plain Grindr apparently, but who can leave the screen open while waiting for notifications?  No, I need to play Nyan Cat Lost in Space, please.  Maybe Choire Sicha and Bryan Moylan can tell you as their screen shots are from regular Grindr which is for the slut who doesn't like to pay.  Oh, wait, found it.  ENTER HERE.

I'm drifting off topic.  GOOD LUCK!

Flaming Saddles: Update?

Has anyone been? Is this an accurate depiction of what one will see when one does?

More shots from the opening night hootenanny here.

The Gay Bar: A handy name reference

So there's this opening of a new gay bar happening, right? Rod sent me the email notification of its impending arrival, and my reaction was, "This looks horrifying.". Oddly enough, Rod felt differently and wrote a nice little review and encouragement to join him at the opening this coming Monday, October 3rd (see link above).

We've since received another email, this time with photos! (See above and below.) Bartenders dance on the bar...in boots! And tight boot-leg jeans a la cowboys!

Personally, the mere fact it's in Hell's Kitchen is enough to turn me off it, but the additional fact that it will boast a "rootin' tootin'" rodeo-ready staff and theme is the nail in the coffin of my desire to visit. Why such a nay-sayer about what will undoubtedly be the hottest bar in HK for the first few days, if not weeks? Obviously, I'm feeling crabby (for no real reason) today, but I also admit to a rather blind bias against anything country. I grew up with "cowboys" like this down in Alabama and there is nothing hokier, nor more infuriating, than a cheesy fucking country-lovin', gun-totin', rebel-flag flyin', tobacco-spittin' redneck in my book. Hello, Tea-baggers!

Undoubtedly, this will not be that and will be cute and fun and you'll want to become a regular.

To distance us from my heated remarks above, let's look at a handy-dandy Gay Bar naming guide found over on smarty-pants site, Slate. No, really. Go look!!

Interestingly, Flaming Saddles doesn't seem to fit any of the naming conventions explored there...not even "Names that might possibly be double-entendres", so maybe they are in for trouble! Wait...maybe it's "Names that refer to things that get pounded"?

Speaking of...!

Photos courtesy of Flaming Saddles.

Gay "Country Western" bar to open in Hell's Kitchen.

Okay, so this bar is not like Boots and Saddles on Christopher Street which I've been told is now hustler-y, but that is from someone who thinks everyone is a hustler, so take it with a grain of salt.  No, this is a bar that will apparently live up to its name by playing country western music and having bartenders in denim jeans in the color of blue.

Flaming Saddles Saloon will have important things, like happy hour specials and food.  The menu seems to be chili, tater tots, burgers, and mixtures of the above.  The location at Ninth and Fifty-third is convenient for after work for people that work uptown and for night times for your friends that live up in Hell's Kitchen whom you never hear from any more.

We want them to succeed, so maybe we'll go to the grand opening next Monday, October 3?  See you there in your "western look"?  You can make "cunt-ry" jokes?

What to do (from now 'til MLK Day)

Courage and Dignity look good on any man.

It's only Wednesday and I've already got your nights planned for the rest of the week and weekend! As we've said before, FYF = service-y!

So tonight, there's BASSMENT - a weekly party that takes place at King's Cross (formerly The Slide) with regular DJs/hosts Jools Palmer and Dirty Jean. The space (and party) is small and intimate but bound to be packed as this week, Kim Ann Foxman of Hercules & Love Affair fame and Silvia Prada, of Barcelona party “Club Tropicana” are the guests (DJs) of honor. Lesbians and H&LA fans, LIVE!

A few blocks over, East Village dandy/flaneur (who only sleeps in Brooklyn) Kevin Fernandez celebrates his birthday with drinks at his permanent haunt, GOOD TIMES at Eastern Bloc. His look will undoubtedly surprise and most likely be both slutty AND matronly (a difficult balance to pull off!)?!

This is New York, so…another night, another new (gay) party, right? It can seem that way, but – despite signs of an impending influx – there’s almost been a drought for the gays here of late! First sign of the apocalypse coming wave? Thursday night (the 13th) is the opening night party for JOHNNY, a new weekly at Liberty Hall under The Ace Hotel on Thursdays. The Ace is psyched to be hosting their first Gay party, as are we that they’re hosting (now if they can get The Breslin to cater…?). DJ Kevin Graves starts things off with Johnny “Daddy” Dynell next week and Josh Sparber the following.

That drought I mentioned? Lots of party closings added to the feeling, but SNAXX – the "Foxy, Furry, Friendly" Friday bi-weekly in the basement of Westside Tavern – held out for going on eight years now. They’re still not closing, either...they’re evolving…taking the party from one venue (sans actual dancefloor) to another (The Monster! WITH dancefloor!) and changing the format up: it will now be a monthly Tea dance affair. Their new motto: Tea is the Time, is not only declarative, it’s educational; reminding queens Tea is not necessarily a type of music, but rather a time of day.

After hosting one last night in the old venue using the old format this Friday night (the 14th), half the SNAXX DJ Duo – Rich King – joins Mark Louque to spin at Mid-Atlantic Leather in D.C. on Saturday night.

Here Saturday night, Mister Saturday Night (Eamon Harkin and Justin Carter) teams up with the Spank boys for a truly mixed, truly underground loft style “all-about-the-music” dance situation at Ft. Greene’s 12-turn-13 loft space. Mister Saturday Night explains – “For our first party of the year, we're doing a special collaboration with a set of DJs who call their jam 'Spank'. […] They, and we, have been longing for a truly mixed party for years, and so we decided we'd make it happen. NEW YORK, JUST LIKE I PICTURED IT is what we're calling it. That's not a nod to some bygone era, but a statement that we're making New York what we want it to be right now. (It is still possible, no matter what anyone tells you.)”
Can I get a a-MEN?

Speaking of nods to a bygone era…or to making New York yourself what you want to be, Mr. Christopher Ciccone will be appearing at Saturday night’s CLUB 57 with Madonna impersonator non-pareil Melissa Totten as part of DJ Escape’s birthday celebration.

Last Saturday’s EuroCHERYL was the last for a few months here in New York (haven’t heard of CHERYL? Maybe cuz it’s a Brooklyn thing. ;)) as they are setting off on the CHERYL World Domination Tour (of Europe) to further their controversial post-gay agenda of "pansexual integration, complete loss of inhibition and pretentiousness, and maximum glitter inhalation.”. They’ll hit Barcelona, Berlin, Lisbon and London with DJ Mark Louque joining them in Barcelona and Berlin. Mr. Louque was just deported from Canada due to his involvement with the CHERYL movement! (No. Not why, but he was deported! …Bad ass.)

Michael T. is a legend and a bad ass, particularly onstage with his band The Vanities (or any other band/performer who asks him to join them onstage!)! Sunday night marks both Mr. T’s birthday and the fifth installment of his party, OH! YOU PRETTY THINGS’, a glam rock jubilee in homage to David Bowie in honor of Mr. Bowie’s 64th. Oh! You Pretty Things! is always mind-blowingly great in a way unlike any other nightlife event I've experienced; it's truly a SHOW. Michael T. and his crew TURN IT OUT. Expect great glam rock performances from a mélange of live music performers/tribute artists backed by a 22 member chamber orchestra(!!), a late night performance from the Daisy Spurs, a late LATE night costume contest (give your best Bowie!) and DJs W. Jeremy (House of Stank) and Bill Coleman (Peace Bisquit) spinning it up throughout. At Le Poisson Rouge.

On Monday, SCRUFF says goodbye to host Mike Dreyden who is leaving NYC for LA to become Director of Operations and Social Media for Instigator Magazine. He’s also launching a new website (www.mikedreyden.net), maintaining a blog (www.mikedreyden.blogspot.com)  AND continuing his career in pr0n so – not sure what more needs instigating?? Still, I’m sure he’ll be a tremendous asset to the publication! All the best over there, Mike!

Also Monday night, DJ Lina kicks off a new weekly at Tillman’s - on 26th between 6th and 7th - called SUGAR COOKIES. The space is great from what I remember, lounge-y with a speakeasy vibe…kind of perfectly Lina-esque. They also had really great mac-and-cheese on the menu then and I’d imagine if you get there on the early side, it’ll still be on offer!

Being it's a holiday weekend, I'm sure there's some circuit-y thing happening, too.

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day (well in advance!)!

Hell's Kitchen guys are starting to smell a little funky.

There's only so much that Marc Jacob's Bang will cover up.  The reason for the increase in smelly fellows?  A lack of laundromats in Hell's Kitchen.  Per reports:

After the Laundromat at the corner of West 53rd Street and Ninth Avenue shuttered last week, West Side residents between West 51st and West 67th streets and between Eighth and Tenth Avenues have no place to do their laundry.

Those without laundry in their apartments/buildings are taking cabs just to get their clothes washed or seeking out delivery services.  

Image via Flickr

Secrets of the Spider-Man musical revealed. (Is it a spoiler to say it's crap?)

You may have family visiting for the holidays.  They may want to go to a "Broadway musical" as visiting family is wont to do.  (Although they'd be better served seeing something like the Bar d'O Reunion.)  You may realize that you've heard about the Spider-Man musical because there have been many headlines about it.  Because the show has been in previews though, you haven't seen reviews.

There's a long-standing courtesy paid by reviewers to Broadway shows.  They don't run reviews until the show officially opens.  After hearing of the fourth injury and of audiences paying $140 for preview seats Richard Lawson at Gawker decided to break tradition:

This thing is baaaad, guys. Really, really bad. And before you say it, this is not me trashing some ambitious can-do theater folks simply for their ambition. These are people spending tens of millions of dollars — you could do ten good, expensive shows with the money they're spending — to create a commercial product that's so cynical it seems to operate under the assumption that a good story is unnecessary so long as there's neat-o flying. And then they're charging you $140 a seat.

Then, in the comments, another person goes much further than Lawson.  He reveals all of the shows secrets and  breaks it down point by point explaining the flaws in the story, the music, and even the special effects.  His entire review with all of those bits is after the jump, but he effectively rips the show to shreds:

The flying stuff is cool. REALLY COOL. No doubt this show deserves all kinds of technical achievement awards. But cool flying stuff alone does not a good musical make. In fact often it felt less like a musical than it did a circus performance, "Spidey du Soliel" if you will, and sadly U2’s music was not up to the task, loosely holding together scenes between acrobatic set pieces with all the audible consistency of an 80’s mix tape. 

Still, some will make excuses for anything.  The following duo saw the show on the night that the fourth actor was injured.  (Is it me, or can you see the same duo also explaining the virtues of the George W. Bush presidency and saying they would vote for him again?)