this is fyf

Dolce & Gabbana's Foray into the Arena of Genderqueer

The LGBT community has made enormous strides since June 28th, 1969 and with our increasing visibility and acceptance into mainstream culture has come a greater understanding of the nuances and shades of human sexuality and gender identity.  Some would like a Q added on, as Queer better describes a fluid and malleable sense of self where concepts of male/female mix freely like sample scents at the Saks perfume counters.

Of note was the recent kerfuffle around Mx. Justin Vivian Bond’s profile in New York Magazine. Admittedly New York is a publication catering toward an urbane and educated readership, but this was still quite a mainstream outlet to be addressing something as niche (even in the gay community) as a type of gender fluidity that is beyond even Trans; not being born in the wrong gender, but essentially having no gender.

My own social circle casts rather a wide net: variety being the spice of life and myself being a rather curious individual who is absolutely fascinated by people. I pride myself on having friends from all walks of life, and count many persons with no self-identified gender as intimates and associates. From boys who love heels, to girls who bind, to the explosive diversity of the (often tiresomely narcissistic) Club Kid scene, I have more than a handful of people in my life who change personalities as often as they change their jeans.

In the Downtown milieu (Downtown now also includes Brooklyn) waifish androgyny is a social cultivar and there are lots of pretty boys that look like pretty girls, and vice-versa.

So it was on a lazy Sunday after a dinner party, watching movies with my friend Jess, when I was flipping through the past two issues of Vogue when I was delighted by, among other things, a series of spreads for the Fall ’11 campaign for Dolce & Gabbana.

Things to sort out: acting gay vs. being gay vs. being effeminate vs. acting butch vs. ...

"Durn it! This kid gay or ain't he?" (Correct Answer: Doesn't matter)

Slate recently published an article entitled, 'When do gay kids start "acting gay"', positing that some begin as early as when they are toddlers. The article, and the terminology used to describe both the behavior and the individuals' sexuality begs the question: What is acting gay?

Reading the article we find that acting gay is something almost solely ascribed to non-gender-conforming boys...i.e. - boys who are effeminate, where effeminate is used to indicate boys who like to play with dolls, for instance, or who "shy away from roughhousing" and take an interest in makeup or women's clothing.

Two things I'd like to interject here (that will likely get me derided and dismissed as effeminate again by Towleroad commenters):

1) Why is masculinity such a hard-won battle?

As the article states, little girls who gravitate toward trucks and sticks aren't given nearly the hard time that's given little boys in high heels. Not surprisingly then, the article relates that studies have found little boys are both highly aware and very careful to only play with certain toys and show interest in certain activities from a very young age.

2) It's obvious that all of this (boys should play with trucks, girls with dolls) is arbitrary, isn't it?

And - more to the point - it's not particularly useful in any way?!:

"A disproportionate number of boys who don't conform to gender stereotypes turn out to be gay men, but lots of gay men played with G.I. Joe as boys and quarterbacked the high-school football team*. Neither does the relationship appear to be as strong among girls. Tomboys aren't as likely to become lesbian adults."

* - Mm-Hmm! I BET they did!

Can we just give the toys a rest, let the kids grow up and then concentrate on what they like doing with their genitals, instead?

Photo via

More posing-like-a-comic-book-character fun.

Remember how, weeks ago, someone decided to comment on the highly-sexualized poses typically struck by comic book superheroines by drawing male superheroes all striking a rather standard Wonder Woman cover pose? Then a few days later there was a contest asking for reader submissions of self-portraits posing like Wonder Woman?

Yeah, well...

I mean...?!

Best "interpretation":

It's the weekend! Inspiration for your evening lewks via "Male Superheroes Posing Like Wonder Woman"

Looks like they've got Bey's videos on rePEAT!

I can't even name half of them (full gallery of heroes after the jump and via)...

If anyone takes me up on this "challenge", please take pics and submit to mylove@thisisfyf.com ASAP.

Hat tip, Mister Brett Booth.

Oh, and...to make this all legit and shit...is this sexist? Should Wonder Woman be posed like some pneumatic stripper or...is it not that deep?

Regardless of your answer to that last (ditch attempt at hi-browededness) question, have a great weekend, kids!

W.I.G. - "I'm not gay, I just sleep with guys."

Yeah. Right!?

I'm a believer of that age-old wisdom: if you have to say you're _______, you're not. In this case, it'd be the opposite.

Though - playing devil's advocate - I associate all this bullshit with Rap and I tend to view rappers, thugs and their ilk a) dimly and b) as particularly overly-concerned with maintaining an "unquestionably" masculine, i.e. - heterosexual (though in my beautiful, sociologically-informed world, one does not inhere the other.), appearance/reputation, a stance that may or may not be forced on them by their environment and thus, possibly, exonerating them from being macho blowhards (no homo). 

Via

What. Is. Gay. - Our heritage? Or the current "heritage" trend in men's fashion?

Gilt MANual Minute: Peskowitz vs. Wooster: The Ultimate Street Style Showdown from Gilt MAN on Vimeo.

First of all, does anyone else experience VAST frustration with online video players such as YouTube and Vimeo? No matter what computer I'm on, I can't recall a single time I've watched a video via either service without experiencing a great deal of buffering and/or pausing throughout. Is this just me? Is there someone techie enough to explain to me, in laymen's  terms, why a video inevitably plays in fits and starts, completely nullifying the point of watching a video (particularly one of a song or piece of music)? Further adding to my frustration is the fact that Netflix does such a good job streaming. Sure, they're a subscription service and thus demand is limited, but...? It just doesn't seem right.

Back to the actual topic of this post: Does twee equal gay? In the video above, the opening makes (a very well-shot and edited) reference to old Westerns and the gun duels that were often central to their plot. Perhaps purposely; perhaps not, Nick Wooster and Josh Peskowitz look a bit foolish in their Thom Browne-length suit pants and sockless shoes when compared, mentally, with the traditionally rugged (read disheveled) gunslinger of the Old West (as imagined by countless Hollywood movies, anyway).

Question then... Does their foppishness, contrasted with the rugged, (and frankly) dusty men of old Westerns make them "gay"?

FYF recommends you read Mike Albo's excellent cover story on Justin Bond in Out Magazine's current issue.

Excerpt:

"Tilda Swinton recalls introducing “a longhaired, nail-varnished, impeccable, treacle-voiced Justin,” to her 4-year-old daughter. “My daughter asked me, ‘Is Justin a man or a lady?’ Before I could speak, she answered herself, ‘Oh, it doesn’t matter.’""

 

...But that took many years to realize.

Read the rest of the story as the result of finding "vself" is worth contemplating and, hopefully, emulating.

A Word Cloud finally provides valuable insight...

Just yesterday, socialization was mentioned in the context of shame, and of sorting through our issues as adults. Looking at the above Wordles of kid's toy ads, it's clear butch-ACTING is a redundant descriptor for ANY male, even if you're actually straight.

Via Mikey D via BoingBoing via AchillesEffect

NY Times doesn't ask but asks "So who's 'the man' in your relationship?".

We've come a long way from "wink-wink, nudge-nudge" allusions to "confirmed bachelor"s, roommates, companions and other euphemisms for homosexual couples. The New York Times, in particular, seems to make every effort to reflect modern relationships in its ongoing series on NYC apartment/home searches (as well as - to the best of my knowledge - wherever else in the paper couples or families are referenced.).

At the same time, however, a recent article covering a male same-sex couple from Arizona's search for a place in the City managed to siip in the fact that one partner in the relationship did both the laundry and cleaning.

Now, maybe that's because he enjoys cleaing and washing clothes, or is particular and won't let his partner do it, but - then again - maybe he's a bottom and his African boyfriend is really hung/a "real" man.

Bottom line? (NO pun!) Preconceptions = Fun/Ridiculous.

(In fairness, the article also mentions that Mr. Caesar - the African half of the couple - cooks at least every Sunday, so...maybe there's nothing gendered/stereotypical about this at all.)

This .GIF is amazing. Please tell me what it's from?

Via I Think I'm Paranoid who muses, "Remember the days when you could show a cross-dressing satan lobster on a children’s cartoon show without parents bitching about it?"

Taylor Mac goes full fish.

Usually known for surrealistic or gender-fuck looks, performance artist Taylor Mac went full fish for the cover of Next.  The issue features an interview about Taylor's new show at LaMama (starting this week) and the photos by Mister Karl Giant.

Civilization Progress Report: The Ladies We Love Edition

Much of my extended family--relatives who are so distant that they believe that a trip down the aisle via Shaadi.com still remains a strong possibility in my future--use bizarre terms like "ladies' man" and "casanova" when I explain to them who my friends are these days, as it sounds like I'm reading off a laundry list of lady-loves. And sadly! mine is a culture where two members of the opposite sex can't seemingly just pass around a bottle of wine and wail along to Tori Amos' "Leather" without inviting implications of matrimony and suburban dreamscapes. But this week, I thought I would take a break from the usual bit of rubble-sweeping and doom-predicting and celebrate some lovely things that lovely ladies are doing that make this world a much better place for the rest of us to exist in!

• Secretary of State Hillary Clinton says China is not the enemy. She may have a point because it's not as if they've blocked their citizens off from playing Farmville entirely...they've just branded it differently. [NYT]

• And here is her "It Gets Better" contribution. [Feministing]

• Meanwhile, now that Padma Lakshmi has popped out a sprog, she likes to keep fit by running up 70 flights of stairs. [New York Daily News]

• SHE CAME TO HAVE A PARTY, BUT DO NOT OPEN UP THE BACARDI! Not to be outdone, Mariah Carey has taken to rooftops to announce that soon, she will also be popping out a sprog. [Daily Mail]

Civilization Progress Report: Don't pluck the forbidden rose! & other morality tales

Hello, world! How is everyone? Hello? Is this thing on? No? HOW' S THAT THEN? TOO LOUD? (Okay, Rod, I'll stop.) Anyway follow me down into this week's rabbit hole of kaleidoscopic queerent events! And what a kaleidoscopic week it was. 'Twas the week when we learned that should we wear a color popularized by such foods as aubergines and plums, we could cancel out the altogether-ooky feelings that the Dementors of our youth wrought on us. It was also the week when our fearless leader made us groan again and so...we sought reprieve in foreign rip-offs of animated Disney classics dating back to last century. Grab your CPR dummies and let's get crackin'!

• THE SEX TRADE The domain Sex.com has sold for $13 million. [BBC]

• The Obama Administration has decided a good thing to do would be to block the repeal of DADT. [HuffPo]

• Or not! DADT confusion mounts! [NYT]

Civilization Progress Report: Imagine there's a world where Harry Potter could cast a Patronus to deflect the come-ons of a Bushwick creeper

The most important questions in life may never have answers. Questions like, "Did 30 Rock jump the shark last night by airing a live episode or did they jump the shark when Oprah turned up that one time?" and "How devastating is it that this week, Twitter turned the plight and (fortunate!) rescue of 33 Chilean miners into a spectator sport?" and "Would Harry Potter do shots with Voldemort if they crossed paths at Bushwick's Gotham City Lounge?" and "Why did Kylie Minogue's fan-fucking-tastic single "Get Outta My Way" not only miss the UK Top 10 in its first week, but tank 16 spots in its second, and then out of the Top 40 in its third?" Unlike someone who has whizzed away hundreds of thousands of dollars on a very-useful journalism degree at Columbia, I don't have the answers. So, instead, please help yourself to the following links. Wash down with seltzer water and don't forget to burp!

• What are the odds that if they forget their wands and spellbooks while wandering to a loft party off Bushwick Avenue, Harry Potter, Hermoine Granger, and Ron Weasley might get shived for looking like hipster scum? [BuzzFeed]

• Landfills will now be mined for fuel and recyclables. This makes Staten Island a veritable gold mine. [TreeHugger]

• Steve Jobs is giving all the rescued Chilean miners iPods. [Hollywood Reporter]

Civilization Progress Report: Hey, remember that time when America drank too much haterade?

"I hate the world today," opines duchess of late '90s alternative rock Meredith Brooks in her magnum opus, "Bitch." And after this week, I can't help but agree. And while you could argue, "Oh, Rohin, when don't you think that?" I counter that this week, especially, we saw human beings at their worst. But today is Friday and I can't very well let you loose to the weekend with horrible feelings. In that way, this week's CPR is like a black-and-white cookie: One part dark, one part light, and all parts delicious.

• Rest in peace, Tyler Clementi. [The Guardian]

• Don't fail us now, legal system. [New Jersey Star-Ledger]

• And finally, filling in the blanks of this tragedy. [NYT]

Civilization Progress Report: "And this is why India can't have nice things."

Picture via Random Specific

After I got home from work last night, my mom called me and we got to discussing the Commonwealth Games, which, according to Wikipedia, is just like the Olympics, only America's not invited to the party. Which makes sense, I suppose, as America doesn't make a past-time out of activities like rugby and netball. Late 2009, the Indian capital of New Delhi embarked on a bold urban renewal project in order to prepare for its turn at hosting the games this year. But since no one could really get their act together in the nearly eight months that ensued, preparations for the games crumbled into an incomplete mess of half-finished venues and swarms of mosquitoes carrying dengue fever. This is giving officials from other countries cold feet about moving forward. But as someone who's fallen in love with a country whose labor force is always striking for one reason or another, I merely remarked to my mom, "And this is why India can't have nice things,"¹ and we defected to more relevant topics like calorie-counting. Which is essentially to say, dear readers, that this week we learned well why no particular slice of the world--except for Lucy Lawless' native New Zealand--deserves nice things at all.

• So, yes, more details re: how slow-to-stalled Commonwealth Games-related construction is accelerating the spread of dengue fever throughout Delhi. [WSJ]

• FASTER THAN A FACEBOOK STATUS Not-at-all flailing auto manufacturer GM encourages all drivers to simultaneously update their Facebook statuses while gunning the gas pedal. [Consumerist]

"Becoming a man inherently means killing the one you love."

If you've had questions regarding gender identity, this video (post jump) from Wonder Showzen should break it down nicely for you.

via Mary Literary