this is fyf

What. Is. Gay: Is Gay gay?

We've succumbed to the temptation to dub the ongoing inquiry into what it means to be gay in which we're engaged "W.I.G.", short for "What. Is. Gay.".

Just as a refresher, the imminent arrival of Pride and the recent discussions regarding whether some one can be "post-homosexual" have raised some interesting questions for us here at FYF, including what is meant by "gay", particularly in the statement, "I'm gay.". We're also curious about whether the meaning of "gay" itself has changed since the word was first used to refer to homosexuality in the late 19th or early 20th century.

In this particular post, there's a rather less serious tone and inquiry before us, considering we're asking whether the above photo captures a gay child riding his unicorn bike, and - if so - why riding a unicorn bike makes him gay. ShaquAndre, I think you'd better weigh in on this one...

Additionally, we chuckled over the clever, tongue-in-...well HAND-in-cheek, perhaps, video below from YouTube-lebrity Gay Carrington and present it here for both comic (albeit slightly sinister) relief and as a point of (rather obvious) clarification regarding Gay - the name - vs. gay - the identity.

Both via Billy Beyond. Uni-Bike originally seen via Daniel Extra.

FYF After Dark: Boris Kodjoe makes me gay.

Well...that's open to debate, actually. See, he's a) straight by all reports and b) utterly unattainable, so - while he's beautiful and my heart "thrills" at the sight of him, there's also a bit of heaviness in knowing that ever "knowing" him is but a fantasy, thus I can't say he makes me happy (i.e. - gay). 

Then again, my attraction to him is a pretty clear indication I'm gay!

Via where there's more Boris (although none of him more nude).

Important Reminder: Rick Rude was ravishing.

"Ravishing" Rick Rude stands (even deceased) as the penultimate wrestler fantasy for many a gay. The "tribute" video above and the pictures collected here go far towards explaining why, should you not be acquainted.

Also, "Professional Wrestling" has a long, tense and conflicted history with homosexuality. See? And here? (That account's particularly thorough.) Also, Brüno. Remember the cage match/lover's reunion?

But then WWE partnered with GLAAD to stop John Cena from insinuating (or flat-out saying) everyone else in Pro Wrestling was gay when what he really meant was weak and feminine (shouldn't women be a little pissed about this stuff, too?) and everything's fine now (just put it on mute.).

Meanwhile, Hulk Hogan is 6'7"??! Not sure why that's so surprising, but it is!

Anyway. Back to Rick...

Hat tip: Tony D'Agostino

Image above via

Civilization Progress Report: Ask yourself this President's Day if Paris Hilton would make a better American leader than Sarah Palin

Q1 of every year is, without a doubt, the most agonizing part of every year. We're still working our way through blizzards. There really aren't any major holidays. Basically besides giving New Yorkers a chance to showcase their wide variety of scarves and strut around in boots or, on Valentine's Day ideally, grab their paramour by the lapels of their peacoat and whisper Spice Girls lyrics to them, the first three months of every year is miserable. Which is why this weekend--a long weekend for many of us!--is a boon. Most of us have probably been burning the candle at both ends! So take this weekend to sleep more, eat more, exercise more, dance more, and then start back at square one. And somewhere in there, make time to look at the paint peeling off the walls of civilization.

• Through the miracle of geotargeting,Facebook has made available to users in nations where being a member of the LGBT will not get them jailed or murdered the option to more accurately display the nature of their relationships, with options like IN A CIVIL UNION WITH. [Redmond Pie]

• Which is great news for all the betrothed same-sex folks in Hawai'i, as civil unions are being passed into law! [Reuters]

• Meanwhile, Maryland could be verging on passing gay marriage into law any day now. [Baltimore Sun]

Civilization Progress Report: In Joan Rivers we trust

This week's report comes at a serendipitous time: On the heels of Mayor Bloomberg's annual State of the City speech. And while we all have opinions and would love to hoot, holler, hack, and hiss in response to his speech...honestly, why bother? Other people will be doing the boring brainwork for you and as they do that, focus on more pressing matters, like which odd trinkets ladies can use to provocatively obscure their no-no zones, as Amanda Palmer encourages them to do, for the sake of feminism...after the break [except I moved it above the break because I fucking love it - r.].

• Amanda Palmer's new album, Amanda Palmer Goes Down Under is out tomorrow and in celebration you should learn about what "Map of Tasmania" refers to. [BuzzFeed]

Civilization Progress Report: Ophiuchus rising!

He-he-hello to 2011, fair readers! With 2010 shrinking far away in our rearview mirrors, let's look to the future. Let's also think about New Year's Resolutions. One of my resolutions was to get back into the gym, if only to keep in time with Nicole Scherzinger's "Poison" while on the ellipticals (check!) Another resolution? To shelve the thunderstormy doomsday theories of 2010. Y'all know bad things happen in the world, but let's vow to laugh and dance and eat P'zones and high-five despite it all. Deal?

• One of the best reasons you can have in January to finally get that digital converter box for your old TV set is the return of the Amy Poehler-led Parks & Rec next Thursday night. Below, she sings "Poker Face"--first at a gay bar and then at her desk. Good times!

Matthew Gallaway takes us deeper into 'The Metropolis Case'

What I like the most about Matthew Gallaway's writing is that it demonstrates that long-form blogging is still a necessary tool in telling stories through the internet. And although he bears no grudges against Tumblr or Twitter (he's prolific on both media, here and here), his prose shines the most in longer narratives--like his In The Weeds column at The Awl. The man can tell a story. Which is why The Metropolis Case is a treat. Mr. Gallaway makes his ambitions clear at the outset: He introduces a cast of characters all unified by their love of opera and bravely us through their glories and heartbreaks. And it's exquisite. Not too long ago, I besieged him with a few questions--both as a writer and as a fan of his work--and he was happy to oblige. Read on!

Hello Matthew! How are you?
Great, thanks! And thanks for having me on board.

Would you prefer people call you Matthew? Matt? MG?
I'm really not picky about the name thing, so any of the above is fine.

And a follow-up: If you had to choose a pen name, what would it be?
My middle name is 'Lee,' and I once considered using that as a pen name. Like Matthew Lee. Or maybe Lee Matthew--which might be kind of too porny? But at this point, I'm pretty content with Matthew Gallaway.

Civilization Progress Report: Happy Ho-lidays!

'Tis the time of year when we get emotional and gassy. We're emotional because we think about the loved ones we defriended over the past twelve months because, frankly, they were jerks and New Yorkers, as a rule, can tolerate only a finite number of fairweather friends. We're gassy because the best presents are edible, have high caloric content and may tend to make us toot well into next Tuesday. But you already broke up with your boyfriend and were planning on spending the holidays with your parents, right? Right. So that shouldn't be an issue! Also, speaking of emotional and gassy, have any of you heard that incredible new Mariah Carey song where she's all like, "I promise that I won't forget the milk and cookies!" ? Isn't it amazing? Before I tell you about the million and one ways our civilization will crumble, let's take another look at Mariah's "Oh Santa!":

Marvelous, right? Good. Because sometime in the near future, the FCC may make it so seeing content like that and anything else on YouTube will be locked up behind a paywall or some other ridiculous additional surcharge. And speaking of bleeding Americans dry, nearly 100 U.S. cities are set to declare bankruptcy next year, too! It should be interesting to see what our Commander-in-Chief does to remedy these tragedies. In another case, his administration has finally undone eras of discrimination in the military with the DADT repeal, but on the other hand, Obamacare is getting flipped the bird--perhaps with good reason? Some are also getting ahead of themselves and wondering if this means a DOMA repeal is on the horizon. Oh and there's also the matter of all those tax cuts, which make our economy look something like a series of sloppily tacked-together paper dolls; Peter Feld broke it down very sensibly.

Meanwhile, if you have just come in first-place in a widely-popular singing competition under the tutelage of Kylie Minogue's younger sister and scored a #1 single because of it, don't be a prat and say things like how Miley Cyrus is a load of rubbish and you are a true artiste. Which segues perfectly into another system that doesn't work! Turns out Skype also broke this week. Which is all to say: Technology truly is the final frontier.

Rohin Guha is a Pushcart Prize-nominated fiction writer whose first collection of short stories, Relief Work is currently available for purchase.

Civilization Progress Report: Could we all just shut up for a minute and laugh?

Is it me or does it seem like people are being bitchier than usual for this season? There's no reason for it. We've now accepted the Recession as the shameful, unsightly limp in America's gait. Now it's time for us to readjust our expectations. This is why The Waitresses performed "Christmas Wrapping" and it's also why the Spice Girls performed "Christmas Wrapping" again: So mankind can put a knish in his whine-happy cake-hole and get into the spirit of the season. But perhaps what mankind really needs to do is get into the spirits...in his liquor closet. Either way, just shut the fuzzuzzle up for a minute and appreciate the fact that New York City's sub-arctic temperature means you can look extra-cute on your way to work. So bundle up and walk with me into this week's news-blizzard!

• The Kardashian family Christmas card or a Models, Inc. promotional poster? [Starcasm]

• They have discovered bacteria munching away at the submerged remains of the Titanic. Wonder if they had Billy Zane's career as an appetizer. Zing! [CNN]

Mister Gay 2011 is a fraud!

Your Mister Gay 2011 claims to represent Columbia, South Carolina, but as this clip clearly shows, he lives in Hell's Kitchen.  Crowned just last weekend, Mister Gay is seen in the 2009 New York Post video (following the jump) stating that he's lived in his (ridiculously tiny) Hell's Kitchen apartment for eighteen months.    

A look at the other finalists find that there was a New York City representative, Mister Mario Godiva Green.  Examination of the rules find no mention of living in the city (or even state) which one is representing although finalists cannot be "currently in open criminal proceedings, on felony probation and [do] not have a felony record.".  The entry form actually doesn't ask from what city a candidate is, but it does require the candidate to divulge their swimsuit size.

Let's face it.  We haven't had a good dethroning since Vanessa Williams (and before that Louis XVI).  Should Mister Eddie Rabon-Gay lose his crown or, in this case, sash?

Hat/tip to FYF commenter "Jeff." for cluing us in on this scandal!

This is a picture of United States Mr. Gay 2011.

Really, no idea what we're looking at here or what a "Mr. Gay" is or really anything.  Michael Musto was on the pageant judging panel with A-List cast members Chanté and Blasé (or whoever).  Musto said that Mr. Gay should be "someone with spunk, spirit and smarts worthy of our community's respect."  So we got Mr. Nair-Down-There as our new gay leader.

Via

Confession?  I'm a fan of Gwyneth Paltrow.  I think we'd enjoy hanging out.  Glee, however, I'm not a fan of.  But I'll watch tonight, like you.  But unlike you?  It's just for the Gwynnie.  (If you're home now, it's, like, on right now.  I found it during a TBS Family Guy marathon commercial break while paying bills and eating some yummy halal Chinese.)

Civilization Progress Report: Don't pluck the forbidden rose! & other morality tales

Hello, world! How is everyone? Hello? Is this thing on? No? HOW' S THAT THEN? TOO LOUD? (Okay, Rod, I'll stop.) Anyway follow me down into this week's rabbit hole of kaleidoscopic queerent events! And what a kaleidoscopic week it was. 'Twas the week when we learned that should we wear a color popularized by such foods as aubergines and plums, we could cancel out the altogether-ooky feelings that the Dementors of our youth wrought on us. It was also the week when our fearless leader made us groan again and so...we sought reprieve in foreign rip-offs of animated Disney classics dating back to last century. Grab your CPR dummies and let's get crackin'!

• THE SEX TRADE The domain Sex.com has sold for $13 million. [BBC]

• The Obama Administration has decided a good thing to do would be to block the repeal of DADT. [HuffPo]

• Or not! DADT confusion mounts! [NYT]

Civilization Progress Report: Imagine there's a world where Harry Potter could cast a Patronus to deflect the come-ons of a Bushwick creeper

The most important questions in life may never have answers. Questions like, "Did 30 Rock jump the shark last night by airing a live episode or did they jump the shark when Oprah turned up that one time?" and "How devastating is it that this week, Twitter turned the plight and (fortunate!) rescue of 33 Chilean miners into a spectator sport?" and "Would Harry Potter do shots with Voldemort if they crossed paths at Bushwick's Gotham City Lounge?" and "Why did Kylie Minogue's fan-fucking-tastic single "Get Outta My Way" not only miss the UK Top 10 in its first week, but tank 16 spots in its second, and then out of the Top 40 in its third?" Unlike someone who has whizzed away hundreds of thousands of dollars on a very-useful journalism degree at Columbia, I don't have the answers. So, instead, please help yourself to the following links. Wash down with seltzer water and don't forget to burp!

• What are the odds that if they forget their wands and spellbooks while wandering to a loft party off Bushwick Avenue, Harry Potter, Hermoine Granger, and Ron Weasley might get shived for looking like hipster scum? [BuzzFeed]

• Landfills will now be mined for fuel and recyclables. This makes Staten Island a veritable gold mine. [TreeHugger]

• Steve Jobs is giving all the rescued Chilean miners iPods. [Hollywood Reporter]

Civilization Progress Report: Morbidly obese MTA asks us to tighten our belts some more, orders extra buffalo wings

Hello! It's Friday! And do you smell that! It's the sweat, grime, gasoline, and left-over hamburger chunks of a week, and a world that plans to put you through the grinder again come next Monday! But kick off your orthopedic sneakers and peel off your hole-riddled socks. It's the weekend--but not before peeking into what's making everyone else's lives much worse than yours this week. Yes, it's CPR time and we're all barely floating anymore! Wheeee!

• At times, I am grateful I am no longer at the mercy of a withered media outlet for my living--late paychecks and lack of professionalism notwithstanding, I'd mostly be concerned about developing Toasted Skin Syndrome from having to work on a laptop at all hours of the day--and not having the health insurance to seek out proper treatment. [The Atlantic]

• But then again, no longer being the mercy of said withered media outlet also means missing out on the small joys of life, like speculating in print who might have been John Lennon's alleged boyfriend. [MSNBC]

Civilization Progress Report: Hey, remember that time when America drank too much haterade?

"I hate the world today," opines duchess of late '90s alternative rock Meredith Brooks in her magnum opus, "Bitch." And after this week, I can't help but agree. And while you could argue, "Oh, Rohin, when don't you think that?" I counter that this week, especially, we saw human beings at their worst. But today is Friday and I can't very well let you loose to the weekend with horrible feelings. In that way, this week's CPR is like a black-and-white cookie: One part dark, one part light, and all parts delicious.

• Rest in peace, Tyler Clementi. [The Guardian]

• Don't fail us now, legal system. [New Jersey Star-Ledger]

• And finally, filling in the blanks of this tragedy. [NYT]

Civilization Progress Report: The week Lady Gaga tried to save Princess Zelda, but John McCain cackled and kidnapped her

Last weekend, I decided it would be a good idea to ignore the sunshine and stay indoors and play video games for about seven hours, so I rigged up an emulator on my MacBook and played this old gem and this one, too. And then when my eyes started bleeding and I decided a better idea would be to get up and pour myself a cup of lukewarm coffee. Then I took a couple minutes out to stare at the wall and idly wonder about how the human condition could be well summed up by a litany of RPG tropes: If an angry jerk stands in your way, give him some KFC and he will let you pass, if an oversized metal cat threatens you, shoot him with your crossbow, and so forth. But what do you do if your biggest hero, who has spent the last couple years leveling up, fails to vanquish the evil overlord bent on perpetuating a meaningless agenda and rescue Princess Zelda (i.e. America)? Put "Alejandro" on repeat and dive right in for your weekly edition of CPR, naturally.

• "Today was an enormous DISAPPOINTMENT, for myself, and for many young American people." - Lady Gaga on the decision to block the DADT repeal. [Official Site]

Civilization Progress Report: What we can learn from my fever dream where Steve Buscemi holds St. Marks Bookstore hostage at knifepoint

During every major seasonal shift in New York, fives of sixes city dwellers suffer from some strain of cold that is comparable to (and may even possibly be) dengue fever, swinefluenza, or any other pandemic that has, at one point in time, threatened to wipe out civilization (consequently jeopardizing the need for drawn out progress reports like these!) Why just this week, I paced around my apartment fighting off chilled sweats! Two nights ago, I fever-dreamt that acclaimed Ghost World/Boardwalk Empire actor Steve Buscemi was holding St. Marks Bookshop hostage at knifepoint, but that I managed to break away from the imminent hostage situation because I was so crafty. Only, I returned for no apparent reason and then found a three bedroom apartment nestled in the back of the bookstore, with someone emerging from it, unaware that Steve Buscemi had just abducted the entirety of the bookstore at knifepoint. I suppose what I'm trying to say, dear readers, is load up on Vitamin C and if you sneeze, do not sneeze on your friend's eye! I suppose another thing I'm trying to say is that this week, our society dreamt big, readers! But as usual, the fruits of their labors were ultimately no bigger than pine nuts.

• ELLEVATED CONSCIOUSNESS Have fans of Gabourey Sidibe taken a moment to stop crowing about the hundred odd things they dislike about the star's Elle cover to embrace the many things that they do like about it? [EW]

• Several Chinese villagers have thought of a winning survival tactic in the face of a wild boar overpopulation problem: Vuvuzelas and karaoke! [Treehugger]

• This week, Queerty devoted all of its journalistic resources to the pressing issue of big box retailer Target's exclusive record distribution contract with Taylor Swift. [Queerty]

Civilization Progress Report: "And this is why India can't have nice things."

Picture via Random Specific

After I got home from work last night, my mom called me and we got to discussing the Commonwealth Games, which, according to Wikipedia, is just like the Olympics, only America's not invited to the party. Which makes sense, I suppose, as America doesn't make a past-time out of activities like rugby and netball. Late 2009, the Indian capital of New Delhi embarked on a bold urban renewal project in order to prepare for its turn at hosting the games this year. But since no one could really get their act together in the nearly eight months that ensued, preparations for the games crumbled into an incomplete mess of half-finished venues and swarms of mosquitoes carrying dengue fever. This is giving officials from other countries cold feet about moving forward. But as someone who's fallen in love with a country whose labor force is always striking for one reason or another, I merely remarked to my mom, "And this is why India can't have nice things,"¹ and we defected to more relevant topics like calorie-counting. Which is essentially to say, dear readers, that this week we learned well why no particular slice of the world--except for Lucy Lawless' native New Zealand--deserves nice things at all.

• So, yes, more details re: how slow-to-stalled Commonwealth Games-related construction is accelerating the spread of dengue fever throughout Delhi. [WSJ]

• FASTER THAN A FACEBOOK STATUS Not-at-all flailing auto manufacturer GM encourages all drivers to simultaneously update their Facebook statuses while gunning the gas pedal. [Consumerist]

Civilization Progress Report: Apple announces brand new product that doesn't work well and world pretends to be agog

This is how much I love all of you--all six or seven, perhaps eight--who read this. For about 83 minutes last night, I experienced some serious internet connectivity issue, which I tried to resolve by trying to (a) smack the modem against my parquet in hopes of forcing it to cooperate, (b) cuss at it in order to berate it into submission, (c) yank out several cords and plug them back in, and of course (d) feverishly click the RENEW DHCP LEASE button in my System Preferences panel. But as with most computer-related issues, this issue has kind of fixed itself. So you, dear reader, should regard this overlong palaver about my connectivity woes as an excellent segue into a number of very loud proclamations hipster egghead Steve Jobs made this week regarding technology that continues not to work as it should, but is let loose on the public, anyway. Presenting your world this week: A tangled mess of computer and telephone cords and short-circuiting motherboards!

• Did you remember to celebrate 90210 day yesterday? I didn't, but to my credit, I do at least own the entire series of So Notorious on DVD, so there you go! [Gawker TV]

• AMERICAN MIDOL Because American Idol is committed to excellence in pop music, they may be hiring acclaimed "Louboutins" warbler Jennifer Lopez to fill in as a new judge. [OK!]