this is fyf

What to do: this weekend

This.

First? It's cold. Bundle up...and I'm not even saying that 'cuz I'll be doing coat-check at Snaxx (Westside Tavern. All the way to the back. See you at 10pm? 10:30? 11? Come when you're ready.).

Not this.

Earlier, there's a Toys for Tots thing that's not Toys for Tots -- however that works (The organizers were scolded by the Marines for calling it that, apparently?), and this Toys for Tots thing that's not allowed to be called Toys for Tots is THE place to see and be seen from what I hear...sort of like Cherry's in Cherry Grove?

Like Cherry's, it's a wonderful place to get a drink - the event is one long open bar...though every open bar I've ever been to has actually been a pretty fucking miserable place to get a drink because of all the queens crowding, elbowing and generally giving all kinds of entitled realness effeckssscksckss trying to get their measly shot glass of juice w/ splash of vodka.

Wait...did I mention there's an open (beer) bar at Snaxx from 10-11pm? No? Well there is and...ignore what I just said about open bars, 'k? Seriously, if there's an open bar I WILL go to, it's Snaxx'. 

Also, I've never been to the Not-Toys-for-Tots-"Toys for Tots" event myself, so you really shouldn't base any of your expectations about the event or the attendees on anything I've said. Clear?

Ok. So there's NTFTTFT, Snaxx...and Clubber Down Disco under the Chelsea Hotel with Ryan Smith at the door and my partner-in-crime(s committed long ago) Tai Chi inside. I'm not sure who's spinning tonight, but it doesn't really matter cuz they'll play disco and it'll be cute and that's that.

What else? Let's see...there's Paul Alexander (The Ones) MC-ing again (you know he was one of the MC's for the famed Jackie 60 parties back in the day at Mother?) at a party at Sugarland with DJ Emjay (He of Wonderbar and Starlight fame). 

Also in Williamsburg, Mondo returns just in time for FYF Friend and Fashion contributor Kiger Hansen's birthday. He'll be celebrating Mondo-style (does he do anything any other way?).

If you walk for body, head over to Splash and enter to win $250 at the F*Word in their stripper contest. James Anderson has a new(-ish...I think it's the second one?) party at The Monster, and Gumbo hosts the first of two parties this weekend - this one in DUMBO, Sunday's down in Miami!

There's stuff tomorrow, including Cheryl at Brooklyn Museum's Free Saturdays, a coat/clothing drive at Excelsior in Park Slope, a Hanukkah Pink Mafia for media networking at Julius', Xanadude on Ice at Public Assembly Loft and FYF Contributor Dave Huge's A Very Collider Christmas at Stonewall, and Sunday...but I really don't have to tell you about them, do I? You know to look at the FYF Calendar for more/details by now, surely!

Regardless, stay warm and have a great weekend!

Just say "Ho Ho Ho", a drug-friendly guide to your New York holidays.

Note:  This post is part of NYC BLOGGERS DO THE HOLIDAYS, a compendium of holiday stuff for the city dweller:

• A Child Grows  Where to See Santa in New York City and Brooklyn
• Eater's Digest  10 "Warm-You-To-the Bone" Holiday Eats in NYC
• Give and Get NYC  Give and Get for the Holidays
• 'the improvised life'  Design (or Hack) Your Own Holiday E-Cards
• Manhattan User's Guide  The Gift Guide: 21 Over $21
• Markets of New York  Festive Food at New York's Holiday Markets
• Mommy Poppins  11 Experience Gifts for NYC Kids
• NY Barfly  Holiday Cocktails, And We Ain’t Talkin' Egg Nog
• offManhattan  The Anti-Holiday Travel Guide: 5 Quick Getaways from NYC
• the skint  11 free and cheap non-holiday things to do this holiday season
• Patell and Waterman's History of New York  Christmas with Andy Warhol
• Walking Off the Big Apple  A Mortal's Guide to the Angels of New York City
• We Heart Astoria  The Best Places To Shop Local - WHA Holiday Gift Guide

So, like, this past weekend on Thanksgiving night, it was just shy of four o'clock in the morning, and this compulsion to head home hit me.  On went the coat and hat and goodbyes given to the guys and ladies assembled in the lovely Chelsea home which served as the post-dinner meeting spot.  Stepping outside though, there was the invigoration of fresh air (and whatever), so a walk was taken.  Somehow my location shifted to Fifth Avenue, walking north in the Flatiron, and suddenly there they were, shoppers getting "special discounts" at Baby Gap at, like, four in the freaking morning.   A long pause later and my eyes perused the shoppers who, well, were just in a different state of mind than me.  A moment of consideration happened, but the store was not entered, because, yeah, these people and me didn't need to see each other.

Something about the holidays, brings drugs to the fore.  Maybe it's the festivity or the twinkling lights or the long nights or the bonus checks, but yeah, drugs are everywhere.  You can't just pair them randomly though.  Otherwise you'll be outside a Baby Gap feeling perky, yet horny, and that's creepy.  With that in mind, please consider the following pairings, all of which totally work!

Cocaine
All coked up and up late at night?  Head out to Astoria or Bay Ridge and take in all the twinkling lights of the lawn displays that fill the lawns of these neighborhoods.  They really go all out.  And you can go on Grindr or Scruff or Radar or whatever and make a new friend!

Anti-anxietals
Popping a Xannie and sitting on those red steps in Times Square is a great place to go to write out Christmas cards.  You get the energy from the tourists milling about, but you don't get annoyed with them!  Since cards tend to go out to your out of town people, they'll enjoy that you are in Times Square.  PROS ONLY:  Step up to a manly pill and pop an aprolazam and go to Queens Mall or Paramus orWoodbury Commons and just sort of mill around, picking up holiday merchandise and considering it briefly before dropping it to the floor.  Bonus round?  Say hello to the elderly!

Marijuana
Spark up a holiday bud and head uptown a little to the Origami Christmas Tree at AMNH and then visit the planetarium or wander the exhibits.  Go even further uptown and go full on boho, making candles of your own design at the Dyckman Farmhouse!  From there a holiday visit to the ever-cruisy Cloisters and Fort Tryon Park.

Liquor
The holidays can't be fully self-indulgent, so dig into your closet or buy new a coat for the city's GLBT homeless youth.  (Seriously, the city just slashed their funding.)  Anyway, bring that coat to Excelsior in Brooklyn this Saturday for the annual LGBTQI Homeless Youth Coat and Clothing Drive.  Get nice and toasty drunk and then gather your funnest buds and sing out carols in Park Slope.  (The event ends early and those Slopers will be charmed.)

Ecstacy
Party like it's 1999 and take a hit of ecstacy.  When you're starting to roll head out and give a visit to Santa Claus.  No, not the commercial version at Macy's or Bloomingdales or ABC Carpet and Home.  Go to the REAL Santa in Central Park's Belvedere Castle.  Just don't ask him to suck your finger.  You can head down to the Ramble for an afterparty.

Psychedelics I
Mushrooms, hooray!  Don't go overboard and you can enjoy a hilarious trip to F.A.O. Schwartz.  Follow it up with a trip to view Simon Doonan's latest window creations at Barneys.  (This year's theme is food?!) Then giggle your way up Madison stopping by Hermes, Ralph Lauren and oddly-named shops that only trophy wives know, arriving at the Met where you can buy all your friendsBaldessari-themed gifts, like the "Wrong!" eraser!

Psychedelics II
Again, moderation is key here, so like, just one hit of acid, and then go to the best windows in the city at Bergdorf Goodman.  Then decide you are on a secret mission and go stealthily down to the Lord & Taylor (which are possibly better than Bergdorf's while tripping).  Finally, PULL IT TOGETHER and go full force to Bryant Park for ice skating (yes, really) at "CitiPond" (being sure to wonder aloud why Citibank is doing this and not protecting your money).  Then put on your own Skating with the Stars performance of Swan Lake.

 

Everything you always wanted to know...but couldn't shut up long enough to listen to the answer.

Via: Pharmacy Technician

New York tornadoes pinpoint gay areas of Queens and Brooklyn to the delight of Pat Robertson, Ruben Diaz, and other wackadoos.

Call your favorite evangelical tea party cray-cray!  The (possible) tornado that sashayed its way through Queens last night knocked down trees in Jackson Heights where part of the gay pride festivities take place.  (Note the purple line remaining from this year's Queens Pride in the photo above.)  Also affected was Park Slope in Brooklyn, where every Lily has two mommies and gay/dyke bars line the streets.  (Anyone know if Excelsior made it through unscathed?)

Obviously, this is Goddess throwing shade down on the faggotry, and you know they love blaming bad weather on the gays.  So give 'em a call and make their day!  

Hierarchy - Gayish places to have a drink with ample outside seating

14. Xes
13. The Ritz
12. Friends Tavern
11. B Bar
10. Hudson Terrace