Hello, readers! Before we climb down into the trenches and wade through the week's muck, listen up! It's with a heavy heart I report this is my last Civilization Progress Report. This may prompt you to wonder several things. Things like, "Will civilization cease progressing?" and "Has the weeks' worth of bad news really taken a toll on our hero?" and to such questions, I say, "NOT IN THE LEAST." Civilization will still continue cranking on like the ol' jack-in-the-box it is, every now-and-then surprising us with a big pleasant-looking festive surprise. But this is adulthood folks and as you know, adulthood sucks and it's all about making it suck less. So chin up and let's get down!
•Surveillance footage from the recent gay-bashing incident in the West Village has surfaced. [Gothamist]
• Surveillance footage from a recent elephant-bashing incident by the CEO of GoDaddy has also surfaced. [Consumerist]
• CHICKILEAKS! Cutesy word-play on WikiLeaks aside, isn't any China-based food safety awareness issue funded by McDonald's a bit pot-kettle-black? [AdAge]
• So this was the week when a crazy cobra went missing from the Bronx Zoo and then was found again and this reminds of a ridiculous Bollywood film my cousin was telling me about one time where some people attack a cobra because it's believed there's a magical diamond in its head but then the cobra turns into a sexy chick and eats people. Great stuff. Trailer's below for that. [WSJ]