this is fyf

Civilization Progress Report: Don't eat dinner at Damien Hirst's house!

There comes a point in every young man's life when he grows older. He notices bags bulging out from underneath his eyes and silver hairs sprouting like weeds from the lush, thick forest that is his black hair. And he wonders how many more hairs are going to turn silver before his faith in the world around him is restored because a critical decision he made back in 2008 suddenly stands for nothing. But then he remembers that he doesn't deal in politics. He deals in pop. And he is me, readers! So if you're burning in anguish from what seems like a pandemic of disasters worldwide, pop music will always save you. Your life-preservers follow below. Have your pick.

• 2010 was the year of "Fuck You". 2011 is, then, the year of "Fuck Me". I told you this last week, but some of you aren't good listeners. [FYF]

Civilization Progress Report: But wait, wasn't Belle from 'Beauty & the Beast' French?

Give yourselves a round of applause, you gorgeous little devils. You've nearly made it to the weekend. And this! This first week of March has truly been initiated by a stampede of unruly lions. And while the civilizations rise and collapse out there in the world, wonderful things, perhaps too microscopic in comparison, continue to happen too! Let's all peer at these small wonders through our magnifying glasses, shall we?

• Hagfish are a type of sea-beast that eat things by absorbing nutrients through its skin. In this way, they are more talented than us humans. We just get hives and wrinkles on our skin. [Wired]

• While we're on the topic of bizarre non-humans, there are four new strains of "zombie" fungi in the Brazilian rainforests that work thusly: They take control of an ant's brain, alter its behavior, and eventually cause it to die. [CNN]

• AWAY AT UNI More symbiotic then: Rutgers University, this week, has OKed co-ed living within a single dorm, validating the very existence of fag hags. [TIME]

Do you worry about bedbugs when you have a random hook-up?

If you're answer is yes, then, wow, thank you.  It's always good to know when one's obsessions are shared with others.  Surely you've been in the situation where you arrive to some random's apartment and realize maybe they aren't as insane as yourself.  Instead of the passionate tearing off of clothing you modify your behavior to carefully place them in places that look safe.  And before jumping onto the bed you give it a once over, or at least do a quick inspection when out of the room.

Via NY Mag, the post-jump video, while completely hetero and "sex-is-only-had-in-relationships" had me feeling less crazy. 

Civilization Progress Report: Morbidly obese MTA asks us to tighten our belts some more, orders extra buffalo wings

Hello! It's Friday! And do you smell that! It's the sweat, grime, gasoline, and left-over hamburger chunks of a week, and a world that plans to put you through the grinder again come next Monday! But kick off your orthopedic sneakers and peel off your hole-riddled socks. It's the weekend--but not before peeking into what's making everyone else's lives much worse than yours this week. Yes, it's CPR time and we're all barely floating anymore! Wheeee!

• At times, I am grateful I am no longer at the mercy of a withered media outlet for my living--late paychecks and lack of professionalism notwithstanding, I'd mostly be concerned about developing Toasted Skin Syndrome from having to work on a laptop at all hours of the day--and not having the health insurance to seek out proper treatment. [The Atlantic]

• But then again, no longer being the mercy of said withered media outlet also means missing out on the small joys of life, like speculating in print who might have been John Lennon's alleged boyfriend. [MSNBC]

Has mosquito abatement been slashed in all the budget cuts or is there some new breed of supermosquito?

 
Seriously, terrorized by mosquitos last night, I slept little.  It started as we watched some television.  Looking at the screen, the dark flying silhouette would slowly approach.  Hands would be thrown at it, but quick checks of the hand would not reveal the tell-tale blood blot of a successful swat. 

Later, after a bit of sleep, the mosquito was back, with friends.  The winged tormentors were relentless.  Completely covering my body in blankets, they then went for my head.  THEY GOT ME BETWEEN THE EYES!  Covering my head with the sheet would be unproductive as well, because I just don't sleep that way.

(Don't bore me with your lectures of screens and air conditioning.  My living condition is unchanged from last year, and I am noting an environmental change.)

So what is the deal?  Has abatement abated?  Have the spring rains brought summer skeeters?  Is this all part of global warming thing where New York is becoming a rainforest?