this is fyf

Tommy from Norway explains his country's butter shortage.

If you've not heard, Norway is out of butter. The cause seems to be a cross between increased feed prices lowering milk production and a popular low-carb, high-fat weight-loss diet. (No, I'm not kidding!) Granted, I'm not well-versed on the Norwegian butter shortage, but I am well versed in angry boi. Thus comes Tommy from Norway that does not appreciate Americans thinking his country's butter shortage is hilarious. Maybe somebody could teach him to make his own butter out of heavy cream. It's, well, rather easy.

Civilization Progress Report: What we can learn from my fever dream where Steve Buscemi holds St. Marks Bookstore hostage at knifepoint

During every major seasonal shift in New York, fives of sixes city dwellers suffer from some strain of cold that is comparable to (and may even possibly be) dengue fever, swinefluenza, or any other pandemic that has, at one point in time, threatened to wipe out civilization (consequently jeopardizing the need for drawn out progress reports like these!) Why just this week, I paced around my apartment fighting off chilled sweats! Two nights ago, I fever-dreamt that acclaimed Ghost World/Boardwalk Empire actor Steve Buscemi was holding St. Marks Bookshop hostage at knifepoint, but that I managed to break away from the imminent hostage situation because I was so crafty. Only, I returned for no apparent reason and then found a three bedroom apartment nestled in the back of the bookstore, with someone emerging from it, unaware that Steve Buscemi had just abducted the entirety of the bookstore at knifepoint. I suppose what I'm trying to say, dear readers, is load up on Vitamin C and if you sneeze, do not sneeze on your friend's eye! I suppose another thing I'm trying to say is that this week, our society dreamt big, readers! But as usual, the fruits of their labors were ultimately no bigger than pine nuts.

• ELLEVATED CONSCIOUSNESS Have fans of Gabourey Sidibe taken a moment to stop crowing about the hundred odd things they dislike about the star's Elle cover to embrace the many things that they do like about it? [EW]

• Several Chinese villagers have thought of a winning survival tactic in the face of a wild boar overpopulation problem: Vuvuzelas and karaoke! [Treehugger]

• This week, Queerty devoted all of its journalistic resources to the pressing issue of big box retailer Target's exclusive record distribution contract with Taylor Swift. [Queerty]

Come this Friday, you can expect all your friends to point at you and say, "Clothe this enormous girl".

 
 Or, "Anyone with a head that large is welcome in my court." Regardless, we are seeing the shit out of  Alice in Wonderland this weekend.  The expectation is high camp heaven meets Tim Burton wonderment and catch-phrases, tons upon tons of new delicious new catch-phrases.