You know what's sexy? Ambiguity is sexy. Mister Philip Sylvesterhas been selected as New York's sexiest firefighter. Here's an excerpt from an interveiw he did with Gothamist:
Are you hoping that this calendar could maybe help you meet a lady? Are you looking for a lady? Or a gentleman? No, I'm not hoping that this calendar will increase my chances of meeting a special someone because if I'm relying on the calendar to do that then I'm in dire straits as a person.
Surely no one wants to be "that gay" that is constantly reading between the lines, but they're such fine lines, no? Also?
Have you met any of the other firefighters? I know they're from all over the country. ... Do you get competitive with each other? Over whose biceps are bigger? [Laughs.] I read routinely so I don't have dumbbells for brains, I'm not into that. I'm an athlete by trade but that's not what I'm all about.
Yes, he reads books! Gay or straight, closeted or coy, he's adorable, so show Mr. New York your support!
This is old now - like most everything I've been wanting to post of late (*sigh* Stupid job.) - but still pertinent.
Back then, (July 14th!?!?!) Dan Savage had recorded a "Savage Love" podcast in which he implied (I'm being generous, there.) Marcus Bachmann was gay.
"This week, though, the podcast started with an attack on Marcus Bachmann’s masculinity. After a short preamble about the accuracy of gaydar (with a scientific citation, no less), Savage—whom I respect tremendously—played a tape of Michele’s* husband’s speaking voice. Bachmann has a tiny bit of a lisp—though it’s barely perceptible—and he slurs his words slightly. To Savage’s ears, it was a gay accent. Savage played the tape over and over, and reprised it several times throughout the podcast. He even did his own Bachmann impression, exaggerating the lisp and camping it up."
Do you see the problem?
And it's not just him. I mean, it's not even really news, it happens so much.
See up there? In the caption I added under Dan's pic? Yeah. Same thing.
We do it ALL.
THE.
TIME.
We get caught up using the very tactics we decry.
We're victims as much as anyone else in the world, sure...and being victimized, it's pretty likely we - in turn - will victimize others. I know this. You know this. But we don't have to.
'Coming out implies that we need to be known to outsiders; our private lives, open books. Let them “come in” and we'll learn ‘em about us! Humans (heteros) are on a need-to-know basis and are not always welcome. Homosexuality is not an ethnicity, it’s not even a stable state. You don’t need to present a “fag passport” to everyone in your life at the same time. When in doubt, consult OUR “coming out” manual, The Art of War, by that aggressive power bottom Sun Tzu.'
This isn't really news or even that surprising being that television (and all media these days) operates in a very narrow, largely instigatory spectrum. So - negative or positive - the volume of reaction is deemed the best measure of a post's, piece's or show's "success".
The idea for the photo and the entire series of shots from which it was taken (which can be seen here) was to play with gender signifiers by presenting a character that combined exaggeratedly masculine and feminine characteristics as a way of highlighting the fact that, when you get right down to it, gender signifiers are utterly arbitrary. Today's saggers, defiantly showing ass as indication of their masculinity, mimic women - asserting their desirability by exposing their erogenous zones - of another time or another continent. The fastidiously smooth male of today would be derided as weak and effeminate if he were transported back in time to the last century and in location to the Wild West.
Given that the image was intended to provoke, these commenters can't be faulted for reacting. That said, where do they get off labeling it "disgusting" and impugning Mister Mason's worth and character for being willing to pose in what they deem a ridiculous way?
Maybe they should talk to Jean here and get a grip...
Is the preponderance of gimmickry being pushed by today's "male" an outgrowth of the large volume of entrants/high competition for attention/exposure among today's hottie/porn hopefuls? Or am I the only who thinks a "natural"/unaffected hotness is preferred?
I mean...??
Further (NSFW) illustrations, after the jump... (and further rumination that mitigates the judge-y tone I've taken above!)
What were the criteria for choosing the winner, I wonder? I don't begrudge the judges the task of differentiating between THIRTY-TWO identical contestants choosing just one!
One item on my spring cleaning list this year? Throw out old ideas of trying to look exactly like bodies held up to me as ideals and strive to develop my own ideal body.
Y'all. It...has...been...a week. As we crash-landed back to New York City on Tuesday after a blissful getaway to a quaint New England town that involved marathon rounds of She-Hulking our way through Marvel vs. Capcom 3, we were greeted with news of epic unrest in Libya and natural disaster in New Zealand (and breathed a deep sigh of relief when we learned our brother, temporarily residing in a remote Kiwi 'burb, wasn't affected at all by the quake.) And frankly this, piled on top of everything else in the world was enough to make us want to crawl under a rock and listen to Adele's sweet singing until the madness ends. But if that were the case, we'd never leave the house. So instead, go into the weekend looking positively golden, with proper posture, and the knowledge that lovelier things are still happening around the world.
• Gordon Bunshaft is not a porn entrepreneur, but an architect. One of his works, "The Snow Queen" is currently on display at the Lever House on Park Avenue and you'd be a fool to miss it! [NYT Magazine]
• 30 Rock's Jenna Maroney made the internet yesterday. [Gawker TV]
• Google has again proven itself to be a tech giant of the times: Presenting Recipe View. [Google Recipe View]
Watch, then engage in conjecture with me about how this video has racked up 3,843,318 views since it's posting in 2006. Is it the subject matter? Is it the shirtless-ness? Is it the homophobic spewing in the comments? Is it how long it's been up? What is it?
Also, what's the story? What happened to Matt? Was Colin beating on him because he came out of the closet? Is Colin now his boyfriend or do they not speak any longer (or worse, have met some violent end, perhaps as a result of tensions escalating from this early outburst!)?
Preface: This post may tell you a lot about how I relate to music...and to the British...and maybe to pop? (You probably already know how I relate to handsomeness.)
Warning, it's a bit circuitous.
First, for the record let me specify that, like pretty much all else I like, I tend to like my song lyrics/topics to be earnest, witty, or at least somewhat thoughtful. Trite evocations of love lost, won and lost again strike my ear (and mind) as boring cliches.
That said, this song -- "Fight for This Love", worked for me the few times I heard it in rotation on my commute (Thanks, Mr. Fox!).
Just the other day, however, while reading a NYMag post about Vampire Weekend covering Cheryl Cole's "Fight for This Love" (quite horrible, I might add.), I realized that the song I knew and didn't mind (that's kind of the extent of it, though there have been times I've gone so far as to "like"?) was NOT the song most people knew; that had gone to the top of the charts in the UK (Don't know, don't care where it went here in the States.) and propelled (apparently), it's singer, Ms. Cheryl Cole (née Tweedy, of Girls Aloud fame.) to solo career success.
No, the song I sometimes - ok, most of the time - liked was the demo version of her song; a version performed by lyricist Andre Merritt and sent to Ms. Cole to consider for inclusion on her first solo album (which it later was).
His song is not bad...catchy; ebullient, despite it's subject matter...good, solid R&B-styled Pop. Hers on the other hand...? Listen to each version at the end of this post and pay attention to their delivery and see if you don't agree with me that she's doing all she can just to keep up?!
Anyway...imagine my surprise when I realized there was this whole other version of the song I semi-liked -- the "official" version that I had never heard and that was performed by Mrs. (...at the time. They've since divorced.) Ashley Cole. It really took me a minute to put it all together: where I'd heard of her, where I might have heard the song and why I had a favorable impression of it, despite the horrid execution on her part.
Having teased it all out, I recalled how I'd first heard of Ms. Cole, back when her husband, Ashley, was reported to have been in a gay orgy sex tape, but then won a libel case against the tabs who printed the story (note the preface to the article in the link above.) and were purported to have seen the tape. That and the fact he's kind of sexy (never actually seen him in motion, or talking, so..."sexy".) and a pro-football (i.e. - soccer) player had caught my attention a few years back.
So...this whole post about a rather tepid reaction to a not absolutely terrible song done badly by everyone but its lyricist is really just a vehicle for me to discuss/report a rumor about Ashley Cole's dick/sexuality.
If anyone has any stories/photos/anecdotes, hit me (with them)!!
Here, now - for your further edification -- a version by version comparison:
Oh and Ms. Cole's video's quite awful, too. (Not embedded cuz those music exec peeps don't 'llow it for some reason. Guess they think it's stealin' somehow and YOU KNOW how they are 'bout their money!)
Bring It On was a fine piece of cinema, wasn't it!
Apols for letting civilization collapse on itself last week, y'all. But y'know what? Sometimes you've gotta let your hair down! you've gotta throw caution to the wind! you've gotta shove some Doritos into your damn maw and pass out because you're too tired to cook a balanced dinner! But this week, it's back to business as usual. And what's the lay of the land this week? That Glee absolutely, positively sucks. Like, vacuum-cleaner sucks. Like, sucks worse than the sky when you've accidentally popped open the emergency doors while your plane's at a cruising altitude. It just sucks. (But that shouldn't really be news, should it!) Then there are other things! But here, follow the trail of breadcrumbs into the large gingerbread house and I promise I won't push you into the oven! (Someone else already did...)
• A man who, while being King of America, managed to drive an entire nation into the ground, has somehow released a book. Some people are doing strange things to the book for the sake of "political activism." [The Guardian]
Hello! It's Friday! And do you smell that! It's the sweat, grime, gasoline, and left-over hamburger chunks of a week, and a world that plans to put you through the grinder again come next Monday! But kick off your orthopedic sneakers and peel off your hole-riddled socks. It's the weekend--but not before peeking into what's making everyone else's lives much worse than yours this week. Yes, it's CPR time and we're all barely floating anymore! Wheeee!
• At times, I am grateful I am no longer at the mercy of a withered media outlet for my living--late paychecks and lack of professionalism notwithstanding, I'd mostly be concerned about developing Toasted Skin Syndrome from having to work on a laptop at all hours of the day--and not having the health insurance to seek out proper treatment. [The Atlantic]
• But then again, no longer being the mercy of said withered media outlet also means missing out on the small joys of life, like speculating in print who might have been John Lennon's alleged boyfriend. [MSNBC]
Last weekend, I decided it would be a good idea to ignore the sunshine and stay indoors and play video games for about seven hours, so I rigged up an emulator on my MacBook and played this old gem and this one, too. And then when my eyes started bleeding and I decided a better idea would be to get up and pour myself a cup of lukewarm coffee. Then I took a couple minutes out to stare at the wall and idly wonder about how the human condition could be well summed up by a litany of RPG tropes: If an angry jerk stands in your way, give him some KFC and he will let you pass, if an oversized metal cat threatens you, shoot him with your crossbow, and so forth. But what do you do if your biggest hero, who has spent the last couple years leveling up, fails to vanquish the evil overlord bent on perpetuating a meaningless agenda and rescue Princess Zelda (i.e. America)? Put "Alejandro" on repeat and dive right in for your weekly edition of CPR, naturally.
• "Today was an enormous DISAPPOINTMENT, for myself, and for many young American people." - Lady Gaga on the decision to block the DADT repeal. [Official Site]
So. Some years ago, Welsh rock band Catatonia had a rad song called, "Stone By Stone," and the refrain went something like this: On common ground, we'll build our castle walls / We'll build them stone by stone and how / With more and more, you know it won't take long / Where it burned orange, let it burn gold. And today, we (I?) would do well to take a break from our (once again, my?) usual doomcasting to frame this past week's goings-on in a way that makes us think that this world of ours isn't going to cave in on itself!
• First things first, friends! Kylie Minogue demonstrated spirited heroics by giving American television something it hasn't had in a while: Pop music that makes you feel all ooey, gooey, and great inside. [YouTube]
As it's always best to face Friday the 13th with a good friend, I've brought on Kyle Ashby, who this week pins down the flailing corpse of civilization from an organic supermarket in Portland, allowing me to hook up the necessary respirator to keep it breathing for yet another week.
RG: WELL HELLO, KYLE. HOW ARE YOU?
KA: Greasy, but ultimately palatable. Yourself?
RG: Uhh. I had a dream last night where Tori Amos was singing Dresden Dolls covers. What do you suppose that means?
KA: Well. Like many Tori fans, you want to stay in a committed relationship, but you yearn for a harder edge. Amanda Palmer fills that void. I mean, I know how often I sing "The Power of Orange Knickers."
KA: The last time I heard that version, my friend and I drooled on the fans below our balcony seats--but because of sleep, not dumbstruck awe.
RG: Do you know what's terrible? I think that accurately describes my reaction to how insanely people are dealing with the the sudden Prop. 8 repeal. Like, they're overanalyzing it...like the concept of same-sex marriage is so utterly mindboggling. KA: I don't understand why I'm being congratulated.
I am in as much agreement with this Talking Points Memo on the potential siting of a mosque near the World Trade Center site as I can be.
"Following her logic (no small feat, I might add), do I now have the right to protest the construction of a new office building in Anchorage because it may house the offices of an oil company and might insult the people who suffered from the BP oil spill?"
I'm usually all about empathy and am generally the last one to try and attribute anything but the best of intentions to people, but - for a while now - I'm convinced the vast majority of the American people have completely lost it. We Americans have taken leave of our senses (No, not CENSUS...though the Becks and the Bachmann's would have you do that as well.) and are fighting windmills instead of facing the reality of a shrinking world that's nearly tapped out when it comes to natural fuel resources and - as a result - is not-so-slowly going all to hell. THIS reality, to me, IS important. Your bass-ackward way of thinking; your "Let me channel Middle America's fear of a black planet/aliens/anyone who doesn't look like me and talk like me" hoaky "I feel for you so you'll vote for me" tactics and shameless posturing over a bullshit issue that will likely NEVER EVER affect you in even the SLIGHTEST of ways way the fuck out there in Alaska (WHERE YOU SHOULD STAY) except for the one time you come and stand in front of it for the cameras and news crews while on the campaign trail...you, your opinion and your made-up issue are NOT important!
YOU and the people who obfuscate REAL issues with bullshit like you spew are the reason Congress cannot pass even a toothless clean energy bill.
You should be ashamed.
Final thought: Those of us who actually lived through a terrorist attack aren't fooling ourselves thinking we can protect ourselves from further attack by making everyone Christian, or speak English, or look like us.
We were attacked because we uphold liberty and believe in freedoms of speech and of religion. By restricting those, we're - in essence - making all those deaths in the World Trade attack for naught. How's THAT for stabbing you in the heart, Ms. Plain?
This week was a Lazy Susan of tepid, crumbly news chunklets that, when collected together, barely resembled a well-balanced diet of progress. Then again, this is pretty standard for all of us, isn't it! And ultimately, it fills us way the way wretched Chinese food is meant to. So, eat up!
- BP has plugged the oil leak for the first time in April. Their reward? Surging stock prices. Also, that plug is a temporary fix. [The Guardian]
- You guys! That's not a UFO in China. It's just fading pop star Coco Lee's career crash-landing on the horizon! [BuzzFeed]
- The city of Milwaukee had to shore up $20,000 to the Milwaukee Gay Arts Center after city police shut down a local production of Naked Boys Singing! and violated free speech. [Playbill]
The rest of your one-step-forward-two-steps-back CPR, after the break!
This week, those of us living in spacious apartments in the outer boroughs (and areas of Manhattan that are so far north of 125th Street that they might as well be an outer borough) crawled into our freezers in a two-pronged effort to experience what it would feel like to (a) not die of a heat stroke as a vicious heat wave threatened to scorch all of New York City and (b) pay too much to live in a veritable sardine tin of an apartment like many Manhattanites do. Meanwhile, the rest of the world enjoyed several different interpretations of the phrase "world on fire."
• RUDE OIL Which is the best time to point out that BP, who remains deludedly optimistic that they can clean up the oil spill within the month, may have torched a whale or two. [Current]
• CRUDE OIL Speaking of crude oil, thanks to America's blind and uneducated love for EVOO--and pretty reprehensible food distribution laws--most of the olive oil that lands on our supermarket shelves ends up diluted with canola oil and cat spit or something comparable. [Consumerist]
Take my hand and let's go further deep into this pile of rubble to see what else is left of the world!
