this is fyf

Of course the State of the Union is a beer and snack time.

Tonight at the Housing Works Bookstore in Soho they will be screening the State of the Union.  (The Obama 2011 version, not the Spencer Tracy/Katherine Hepburn version.)  They'll have beer and food, all the better to commiserate with others.  Even better?  You'll be helping the homeless!

One of the first supermodels is suing Stella Artois.

There are two reason you might recognize the face above.  She's Evelyn Kuhn, 1960's/70's supermodel, and the shot above is a Warhol Polaroid.  (She was also on multiple Vogue covers and was the face of Revlon.)  Or you might or might not recognize her face from a recent Stella Artois print ad.  She recently filed suit, saying her image was used without consent.

Just say "Ho Ho Ho", a drug-friendly guide to your New York holidays.

Note:  This post is part of NYC BLOGGERS DO THE HOLIDAYS, a compendium of holiday stuff for the city dweller:

• A Child Grows  Where to See Santa in New York City and Brooklyn
• Eater's Digest  10 "Warm-You-To-the Bone" Holiday Eats in NYC
• Give and Get NYC  Give and Get for the Holidays
• 'the improvised life'  Design (or Hack) Your Own Holiday E-Cards
• Manhattan User's Guide  The Gift Guide: 21 Over $21
• Markets of New York  Festive Food at New York's Holiday Markets
• Mommy Poppins  11 Experience Gifts for NYC Kids
• NY Barfly  Holiday Cocktails, And We Ain’t Talkin' Egg Nog
• offManhattan  The Anti-Holiday Travel Guide: 5 Quick Getaways from NYC
• the skint  11 free and cheap non-holiday things to do this holiday season
• Patell and Waterman's History of New York  Christmas with Andy Warhol
• Walking Off the Big Apple  A Mortal's Guide to the Angels of New York City
• We Heart Astoria  The Best Places To Shop Local - WHA Holiday Gift Guide

So, like, this past weekend on Thanksgiving night, it was just shy of four o'clock in the morning, and this compulsion to head home hit me.  On went the coat and hat and goodbyes given to the guys and ladies assembled in the lovely Chelsea home which served as the post-dinner meeting spot.  Stepping outside though, there was the invigoration of fresh air (and whatever), so a walk was taken.  Somehow my location shifted to Fifth Avenue, walking north in the Flatiron, and suddenly there they were, shoppers getting "special discounts" at Baby Gap at, like, four in the freaking morning.   A long pause later and my eyes perused the shoppers who, well, were just in a different state of mind than me.  A moment of consideration happened, but the store was not entered, because, yeah, these people and me didn't need to see each other.

Something about the holidays, brings drugs to the fore.  Maybe it's the festivity or the twinkling lights or the long nights or the bonus checks, but yeah, drugs are everywhere.  You can't just pair them randomly though.  Otherwise you'll be outside a Baby Gap feeling perky, yet horny, and that's creepy.  With that in mind, please consider the following pairings, all of which totally work!

Cocaine
All coked up and up late at night?  Head out to Astoria or Bay Ridge and take in all the twinkling lights of the lawn displays that fill the lawns of these neighborhoods.  They really go all out.  And you can go on Grindr or Scruff or Radar or whatever and make a new friend!

Anti-anxietals
Popping a Xannie and sitting on those red steps in Times Square is a great place to go to write out Christmas cards.  You get the energy from the tourists milling about, but you don't get annoyed with them!  Since cards tend to go out to your out of town people, they'll enjoy that you are in Times Square.  PROS ONLY:  Step up to a manly pill and pop an aprolazam and go to Queens Mall or Paramus orWoodbury Commons and just sort of mill around, picking up holiday merchandise and considering it briefly before dropping it to the floor.  Bonus round?  Say hello to the elderly!

Marijuana
Spark up a holiday bud and head uptown a little to the Origami Christmas Tree at AMNH and then visit the planetarium or wander the exhibits.  Go even further uptown and go full on boho, making candles of your own design at the Dyckman Farmhouse!  From there a holiday visit to the ever-cruisy Cloisters and Fort Tryon Park.

Liquor
The holidays can't be fully self-indulgent, so dig into your closet or buy new a coat for the city's GLBT homeless youth.  (Seriously, the city just slashed their funding.)  Anyway, bring that coat to Excelsior in Brooklyn this Saturday for the annual LGBTQI Homeless Youth Coat and Clothing Drive.  Get nice and toasty drunk and then gather your funnest buds and sing out carols in Park Slope.  (The event ends early and those Slopers will be charmed.)

Ecstacy
Party like it's 1999 and take a hit of ecstacy.  When you're starting to roll head out and give a visit to Santa Claus.  No, not the commercial version at Macy's or Bloomingdales or ABC Carpet and Home.  Go to the REAL Santa in Central Park's Belvedere Castle.  Just don't ask him to suck your finger.  You can head down to the Ramble for an afterparty.

Psychedelics I
Mushrooms, hooray!  Don't go overboard and you can enjoy a hilarious trip to F.A.O. Schwartz.  Follow it up with a trip to view Simon Doonan's latest window creations at Barneys.  (This year's theme is food?!) Then giggle your way up Madison stopping by Hermes, Ralph Lauren and oddly-named shops that only trophy wives know, arriving at the Met where you can buy all your friendsBaldessari-themed gifts, like the "Wrong!" eraser!

Psychedelics II
Again, moderation is key here, so like, just one hit of acid, and then go to the best windows in the city at Bergdorf Goodman.  Then decide you are on a secret mission and go stealthily down to the Lord & Taylor (which are possibly better than Bergdorf's while tripping).  Finally, PULL IT TOGETHER and go full force to Bryant Park for ice skating (yes, really) at "CitiPond" (being sure to wonder aloud why Citibank is doing this and not protecting your money).  Then put on your own Skating with the Stars performance of Swan Lake.

 

What are you doing for Hallowe'en?

Yes. That IS a Labryinth t-shirt!

What are you going to be (I still haven't a clue, but it's not likely to be either Luke Perry or David Bowie in Labyrinth.)?

Ancient Celts believed the membrane separating this world and the underworld, or afterlife, became thin and was breached by various spirits on All Hallow's Eve (they traditionally called it Samhain, I believe?). See, Samhain is believed to have marked summer's end (the word derives from the phrase for that in Old Irish, supposedly.), and the border between the "light" part of the year and the "dark" part may have seemed related to a thinning of this barrier between worlds.  The spirits who came through could be harmless, but were also potentially harmful. Costumes were worn both as a means to confuse the harmful spirits and - by young men - to symbolize the spirits of family who had crossed over, that viewers might remember those who had passed and respect their memory.

So...what are you going to wear?

Regardless, here's what you might want to do:

FRIDAY (Tonight):

Ladyfag's new Clubber Down Disco returns for its second night with Honey Dijon DJing and Tai Chi, One-Half Nelson and Casey Spooner hosting. Ryan Smith at the door, whore! Word to the wise? Arrive on the early side. There's more than one reward (i.e. - entrance) awaiting you if you do.

Similarly, Mr. Rich King and Mr. Gustavo Motta offer incentive to arrive to their Snaxx shindig early. They'll be wigging out (as you should be!) but the beer will be free (from 10pm - 11pm)! Also popcorn, peanuts and a surprise!

Uptown at mine and Tai's (well, EVERYone's) old haunt - Rebel - Peter Rauhofer and the WORK! crew (DJs Corey Craig & Nita Aviance spin upstairs and Ms. Roze BLACK is BACK hosting the party!) throw a night of Hallo-weenie craziness.

Bana is back, but they've been kicked out of their Downtown Fulton Street baths location at the last minute so are moving the VIP portion of the party out to Brooklyn to the site of the original banya party several years ago that kicked the whole shebang off. The baths there are SITTing, is all I'll say. Oh and transportation is provided (via go-go equipped...or equipped go-go? party bus.) from 15th and 8th Avenue (in front of Starbucks) three times: 11pm, 12am, and 1am with two return trips at 3am and 4am. I think you may have to already have a ticket to ride the bus, so hit up the website for full information and the ticket purchase link.

There's (what seems like) a thousand other options, as well. Find the FYF Calendar for those.

How to open a bottle of beer without a bottle opener

After a summer of walking around the beer bottles in search of openers, time has finally been spent learning alternative methods, and it turns out there are many of them.  Mister "Mo Hair" displays techniques using a cigarette lighter, another beer bottle, a countertop and a simple piece of paper.  (The @$%#$@ videos can't be embedded here, but the link will take you to them.)  Prost!

Civilization Progress Report: Vaughn Walker loves Good Hair.

There are a lot of Vaughn Walkers on Facebook, and most of them are not white! While most are very private (which goes with that "other" Vaughn's take on wiretapping) there is one Vaughn Walker that is out of the closet as a fan of Good Hair!  Anyway, we all pretty much know all about Reagan-appointed, gayish Judge Walker and his well-written finding, so let's check in with the rest of the world for the CPR.

• Speaking of good hair, here is Miss Naomi Campbell, sporting the beehive wig of the decade in a war-crimes trial regarding her receipt of "small dirty stones" (aka Blood Diamonds) from an African dictator.
  
• The social security system now spends more than it takes in.
• A big part of your gay history is about knowing about the philanthropist white ladies that became angels to "your people" at the onset of the AIDS epidemic.  Meet Miss Judy Peabody.

That video with all the strippers in it is after the jump, so keep reading.