'Tis the time of year when we get emotional and gassy. We're emotional because we think about the loved ones we defriended over the past twelve months because, frankly, they were jerks and New Yorkers, as a rule, can tolerate only a finite number of fairweather friends. We're gassy because the best presents are edible, have high caloric content and may tend to make us toot well into next Tuesday. But you already broke up with your boyfriend and were planning on spending the holidays with your parents, right? Right. So that shouldn't be an issue! Also, speaking of emotional and gassy, have any of you heard that incredible new Mariah Carey song where she's all like, "I promise that I won't forget the milk and cookies!" ? Isn't it amazing? Before I tell you about the million and one ways our civilization will crumble, let's take another look at Mariah's "Oh Santa!":
Marvelous, right? Good. Because sometime in the near future, the FCC may make it so seeing content like that and anything else on YouTube will be locked up behind a paywall or some other ridiculous additional surcharge. And speaking of bleeding Americans dry, nearly 100 U.S. cities are set to declare bankruptcy next year, too! It should be interesting to see what our Commander-in-Chief does to remedy these tragedies. In another case, his administration has finally undone eras of discrimination in the military with the DADT repeal, but on the other hand, Obamacare is getting flipped the bird--perhaps with good reason? Some are also getting ahead of themselves and wondering if this means a DOMA repeal is on the horizon. Oh and there's also the matter of all those tax cuts, which make our economy look something like a series of sloppily tacked-together paper dolls; Peter Feld broke it down very sensibly.
Meanwhile, if you have just come in first-place in a widely-popular singing competition under the tutelage of Kylie Minogue's younger sister and scored a #1 single because of it, don't be a prat and say things like how Miley Cyrus is a load of rubbish and you are a true artiste. Which segues perfectly into another system that doesn't work! Turns out Skype also broke this week. Which is all to say: Technology truly is the final frontier.
Rohin Guha is a Pushcart Prize-nominated fiction writer whose first collection of short stories, Relief Work is currently available for purchase.
