"I hate the world today," opines duchess of late '90s alternative rock Meredith Brooks in her magnum opus, "Bitch." And after this week, I can't help but agree. And while you could argue, "Oh, Rohin, when don't you think that?" I counter that this week, especially, we saw human beings at their worst. But today is Friday and I can't very well let you loose to the weekend with horrible feelings. In that way, this week's CPR is like a black-and-white cookie: One part dark, one part light, and all parts delicious.
• Rest in peace, Tyler Clementi. [The Guardian]
• Don't fail us now, legal system. [New Jersey Star-Ledger]
• And finally, filling in the blanks of this tragedy. [NYT]
• About four gay teens dead in three weeks--in America--makes us and Salon ask the same thing: "Why are so many gay teens dying?"...but then inspires Salon to point to a lack of role models as a possible culprit. [Salon]
• MOTOR CITY, STALLED Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell has been attacking University of Michigan's first openly gay student assembly president and protesting outside his family home. He's now banned from setting foot on Michigan's Ann Arbor campus. Stay classy, Shirvell. [CNN]
• MASTER OF FARTY ASSHOLE Janette Hospital loves teaching MFA candidates at Columbia so much that she decided to mass-mail the students from her less fabulous days at USC about what inferior specimens they are. "Those who can't do, teach," and so on. [Gawker]
• Newtown Creek--the sexy waterfront spanning the neighborhoods of Bushwick and Greenpoint in Brooklyn--has been declared a federal Superfund site. This means that it will get mounds of moola for a clean-up effort dedicated to wiping out centuries of toxic sludge deposited into the murky depths of the river. [BushwickBK]
• Oh no! Someone has let Leona Lewis out of the chicken coop. [GoFugYourself]
• Kylie Minogue's "Get Outta My Way" is currently poised to be come the performer's 34th Top 10 single in the UK this Sunday. Below she belts out a stripped-down cover of HURTS' "Wonderful Life" from BBC Radio 1's Live Lounge, recorded earlier this week. [The Guardian]
• Speaking of Kylie, Mylene Farmer--France's answer to Kylie--has done a song with that dude who made all those Lady Gaga songs so successful way back in the day. [Popjustice]
• This week, Queerty's curatorial nuances destroy Modern Family's tenderest moment by the clunkiest use of parentheticals in a HED ever. [Queerty]
• CUTE! A dog and a crow play an all-American game of fetch. [BuzzFeed]
Mister Rohin Guha has written for scores of places and you can follow him here. His collection of short stories, Relief Work, is forthcoming from Birds of Lace. Once a week he'll be checking in on civilization and giving us a progress report.